Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What makes a good Dom/Domme?

Some rules of a a good Dom/Domme

First, being a Dominant/submissive is a STATE OF MIND, not a sex act, a game or a role.
It is a STATE OF BEING- one must learn to accept and understand what part in the relationship you will partake in.

#1-Dominant is ALWAYS a Gentleman or a Lady.
There is no excuse for being impolite or rude to others. Just because you have the alpha personality doesn't entitle you to be an ass.
Save this for your submissive that needs and requires this of you.

Self explanatory

#3-A Dominant is always honest.
To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must be able to trust you to respect you. Every submissive knows that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect you much more if you tell the truth.
Be honest with a submissive about your level of experience with others and the submissive. The submissive can even help you to gain experience and is really an enjoyable learning process. Tell the submissive up-front your wishes.
Most submissive will understand them.
You may not get "that" submissive but you will not lose her/his respect from lying.

#4-A Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions.
Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it.
Accept and admit the fact that you fucked up.
To seek an excuse for something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect very quickly and you will be branded in a bad way.

#5-A Dominant expects but does not demand respect. Let me repeat: A Dominant expects but does not demand respect.
No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress.
Respect is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on your name means nothing and is a word that when not earned is meaningless and makes you to others appear to be a petty childish fool.
Those that know you and respect you will call you Master or Mistress when you earn it, not before.
Remember, to other Dominants you are not their Master/Mistress you are their equal.
Do not DEMAND them too ever call you that.

#6-A Dominant knows and understands the differences between needs, desires and wants of a submissive.
This will be learned from the submissive.

Think you can handle being a Dom/Domme?


  1. All of these make sense and I think are great guidelines particularly for those who either participate in this type of play or who write these types a stories. But I for one am definitely not Dom material lol.

    1. Im glad you think so- I think they are basic rules you know?

  2. Thanks ladies for stopping by and commenting!!!

  3. Ha, thanks for sharing. This is something I know absolutely nothing about.

  4. My thought about the perfect Dominate is this - There is only one I would ever call my Lord and Master because He is worthy of my submission and He says, "He who is greatest among you, let him be the servant of all."

    To whom much is given, much is required and with authority comes responsibility. That is my gold standard for judging the quality of a Dom/Domme. Anything less is utter failure.

  5. Very interesting! Enjoyed your post :)